How To Love The Mouse of Disaster
by Generation's Incarnation
Summary: Another AU of Shirakage and Danger Mouse meeting each other for the first time. When Shirakage Mouse takes back her feminine honor by punching a foreign politician who squeezed her butt, a smitten Danger Mouse personally places the Half Yank raised white Mousette under house arrest in Danger HQ for the night. Sparks fly in the midst of loyalty and Entomophobia, the fear of bugs.


**A/N: From my broken Anime Community to surviving Bug Season in the Northern Hemisphere, this story might take a while to be completed.**

**How To Love The Mouse of Disaster**

It was lunchtime in London. And I was sipping my daily caffeinated coffee at an outdoor table owned by Daphne's Coffee and Sweets Factory. My name is Shirakage Mouse. Happily single and independent, I moved to the U.K. from America for scientific employment.

There's just one problem that's constantly bugging my overseas private life: The impersonating waiter, who's standing a few feet away from the cafe's open walkway...is actually the best secret agent in Britain. His name is Danger Mouse, and he's been asking for my heart ever since we had met each other a short few days ago.

I rolled my eyes at how stupid that fake mustache looked under his nose. Just what Rhinoceros person, who is often working in the medical or dental profession, is so famous enough to have his small hair style become a new popular costume accessory?

I tried to pretend that DM was grinning right at me. But I half smirked when I saw his expression furrow towards his twitchy nose.

"H-hmm..." DM rubbed a finger under his mustache covered nostrils.

Well, well. Seems like that accessory is giving him a bit of trouble in keeping him staying undercover.

"N...m-m!" He mumbled helplessly as the growing itch in his nose caused his eye to squint and lose its focus. "_Ha-hHa..."_ He then tilted his head back, a sneeze gaining on him fast. His parting mouth suddenly ground itself into a grimace as his head snapped forward. "_...KScHhH!"_

He recovered quickly from the sneeze, raising his head and sniffing while rubbing his nose. "_Snf."_

If he honestly thinks that one sneeze won't ruin his chances of closing in on me, he's dead wrong. Taking out my phone from my purse, I began to access the controls of my invisible and silent housefly bot. I never needed Professor Squawkencluck's help in creating one for myself.

As Danger Mouse casually cleared his throat, my unsuspecting flea sized bot flew up to his fake mustache and buried itself into the false furry fabric. The more it wiggled around and within the accessory, the tips of the fake furry hair ruffled against DM's wide nostrils.

"_S-snif!"_ His nose twitched madly this time. "_H-hehh..."_ Then his breath hitched dangerously in rapid desperation. "_H-ehH-!"_ His jaw slacked and his eye reared up. "_Ahh...hEHH-HEhhaAtsshh!"_

Wow. That was almost a big one. But I'm not finished with him yet. I controlled my buried fly bot to ruffle the tips of his fake mustache again.

"_S-snf."_ DM froze again, his parting mouth inhaling sharply. "_Ahh... hh-Ehh'tCHH! Ih-hEH-TCCHh!"_ He spewed out the sneeze in a nearly cupped palm, but his fingers were a few inches apart from each other.

It didn't take long before the manager caught him impersonating his employee staff; security was on the scene to apprehend DM while I left the cafe in stoic silence.

Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Yesterday's victory for me had lost its happy mood magic by the next day. You're gonna love this incident...

While strolling down West Minister Bridge Road and passing by the Official Parliament buildings, a fat orange pig with blonde hair wearing a blue government suit happened to cross paths with me. As he walked by me in the opposite direction, I suddenly felt a slight squeeze on my ass cheeks.

What happened next did not end well for me. It would have been better if I was escorted to a jail cell. But justice didn't want to sentence me through normal protocol.

Guess who arrested me, had me handcuffed to one one of his wrists, escorted me to a certain secret agency HQ building, and lost the keys to Said handcuffs.

The World's Greatest Secret Agent was still so smitten by me, that he just couldn't bring himself to lock me up in Arkwright Asylum as a punishment for punching a visiting American politician in the face. No...no. The mouse agent of Great Britain thought that a prison cell wouldn't do for his crush. So he took me as his personal prisoner and kept me under house arrest in his Danger flat.

Fortunately, the nightmarish thought of having my privacy invaded while being stuck to a handcuffed Danger Mouse wasn't going to last forever. After scolding my lovesick warden for being a terrible secret agent and losing the keys to my shackles, Professor Squawkencluck of DM's Secret Service went back to her lab to create new handcuff keys for Said shackles.

But for now, all I could do now was wait. Which included watching Telly in DM's large sitting room's settee. Handcuffed to the manly mouse. My foster uncle, Jimmy Camel's talk show program was the only noise filling up the quiet flat.

5 minutes went by, and then DM broke the silence.

"Prof. Shirakage," he addressed me suspiciously. "Do you still continue to stand by your claim that that American official grabbed and squeezed your ass? Are you absolutely sure that what transpired earlier today is the truth?"

I raised an intrigued eyebrow to myself; Nezu-chan had a bit of an edgy tone through his casual interrogated question. I glanced at him on my right and noticed his right eyebrow twitching in irritation. He was also biting down his lip, his face was showing a faint reddish color, making him look extremely tense.

A smile curled on my lips, releasing a pleasant chuckle. "You're _that_ jealous and head over heels for me. What now?" I grinned teasingly at him. "You're not actually gonna take my side and defend me in court, are you? Use your head, Baka. The world's leaders comes first before defending your charged crush."

DM growled lowly through gritted teeth. "Shirakage," he warned persistently. "Did he touch you inappropriately or not!?"

I hid my smile through pursed lips, but answered him in a more honest response. "Yes, he did. I'm not going back on my word."

He inhaled deeply through his nose, biting back any anger rushing through his emotions and turned his head from me. "I'm sorry," he apologized bitterly. "You're in this fix because you wanted to take back your honor in the only way you thought was right. I..." He closed his eye, his voice filled with regret. "I should have been there when you were groped that way. And I should have been the one to take the fall."

My face froze when I heard his speech. Danger Mouse _was_ jealous and angry towards my predicament. But... picturing an alternate scenario where Nezu-chan was the one in handcuffs instead of me strangely made my own blood start to boil.

"Would..." I hesitated to finish my desired question. "Would you be on the run alongside me...if I resisted arrest, Nezu-chan?"

DM's eye widened and he returned the confused gaze. "If _I_ were to be framed and branded a criminal by my agency, would _you_ help me clear my name...even if it meant that both of us went rogue somewhere in London?"

I ended eye contact with him, averting to the side while struggling to respond with a rightful answer. Shit. I think I felt a spark flicker about in my chest for a moment.

"Perhaps," I admitted finally. "But I would only do so...because I'd feel it would be the right thing to do."

Silence fell over us again as we watched Telly. However, my mind was still reminiscing over one of the reasons why I left America for Britain in the beginning of my narration.

I've been having repetitive nightmares about another lifetime of mine, where a certain genre of interest which gave me joy for nearly 20 years in those dreams...suddenly destroyed its community and left a hole in my heart. Those nightmares started when I nearly turned 11 years old, but didn't stop until I left the mainland of North America for my scientific career weeks ago.

My parents never had to know how long I was suffering for while they raised me. I always managed to wake up by the time the sun was above the horizon. Every dream I had about that alternative universe began with a wonderful new experience, and then always ended in ruin and social rage among its people.

But then, I encountered Danger Mouse; and my life was never the same once I read about his adventures in online articles and the news. His silly missions and daft attention span had somehow managed to drive away my nightmares in my sleep.

His inability to tell apart Penfold from Pinfold was hilarious: a blue blazer and bald head vs. a green shirt and blonde hair couldn't do the trick? That had me laughing my tailed ass off.

I even remember the first time his single right eye caught sight of me nearly a week ago: If it hadn't been for me walking down the sidewalk while he was driving the Mark IV in pursuit of his arch nemesis, Baron Silas von Greenback, I wouldn't have to sweat drop at how the World's Greatest Secret Agent of Great Britain...lost his focus from the road and crashed his car into a street lamp.

Not even the warning screams from Penfold—sitting in the passenger seat—was enough to snap him out of it before it was too late.

I would continue my reminiscence...if the idiot—who I was still handcuffed to on the settee—didn't draw a sharp breath and sneezed wetly twice to the side away from me.

"_HrshhhUuhh! ESHHUH! Snf. _Pardond." He sniffed with a congested apology.

"Bless you," I said to him. "Danger Mouse, are you alright?"

He rubbed underneath the tip of his snout, turning to me with a sheepish wry smile. "I thig I mbight be a bit udder the weather, Shira-Sadn," he confessed followed by a faint cough.

I huffed softly under my breath. "Nice try, Sneezy Mouse. If you think playing Sick will shift my feelings and cave into your charming arms, then I'm afraid you'll have to do better than that."

"DNoe, really, Shirakage," he insisted while his eyes glazed in unfocused weariness. "I cambe down with sobethig this mordidg, _snff!_ I'b just been hiding it frub everyod all day."

Nope. Still wouldn't buy it. "Riiiiiiight... And your voice just happened to start feeling the effects of your cold now?"

A pitiful glare from him failed as his jaw slackened again from another sharp breath in his throat. "I _uhh_..._ehh_ excu_uuhhh uhh...UhTSHHUH! RSHHHUUH! ESHHU!"_ His sneezes escaped from him so quickly that he didn't have time to muffle his snout into his right shoulder.

"Bless you," I said, frowning at how desperate his explosive fits sounded.

"Sor..._uhh..._sorry _heh..."_ He sneezed away from me again. "_HeSHHHUH! Ugggh...sniff._ Sorry."

"Bless..." A small wave of pain suddenly spread around my lower arm and elbow, causing me to flinch and rub the limb near my handcuffed wrist.

DM felt the tug of the handcuffs getting pulled, leading him to take notice of my discomfort. "Shirakage, whad is it!? Are you hurt?"

I nodded slightly, keeping my solemn gaze at my elbow. "Yeah. My limb's just feeling sore and stiff from being handcuffed for this long, that's all."

"Here," he offered gently. "May I?"

I narrowed my brow stubbornly again. "Danger Mouse, I'm fine."

I don't know whether Karma was trying to screw with me even more tonight. But the Telly's voice over announcer read out the channel's next coming program with the feature film, "Planet of the Flies". It wasn't like I had a fear of bugs that much, but I never enjoyed how awful the sound of their wings were to my sense of hearing. In a moment of fear, I reached for the remote and turned to a different channel.

When Danger Mouse's classic theme song started to playing on the Telly, DM's face lit up. "Oh, Goody! Woo-hoo! My program's on! Let's watch, Love."

I blushed a bright red from him addressing me with that pet name. But at least our handcuffed predicament prevented him from wrapping his arm around me. Instead, I observed the episode from one of his past adventures. It was titled "High School Inedible".

A few minutes into the episode, the scene where the undercover DM and Penfold driving to the high school perked my interest.

**"School? No-o-o-o!" **Penfold's voice rang out in the scene. **"They picked on me and flushed my pencil collection down the toilet just because I was good at Maths."**

The secret agent cam then shifted to the undercover DM; he was driving the Danger Car, dressed in a green high school boy uniform. Unlike his undercover assistant, DM looked very happy in reminiscing those days.

**"Ahh, school... Sunny days, football in the playground, flushing nerds' pencil collections down the toilet..."**

When the camera showed Penfold glaring irritably towards his best friend, I choked back a bit of stifled laughter before Telly DM began to correct himself.

**"...which I now see was immature and is something I deeply regret."**

My withheld smile couldn't contain the giggle in my throat. Watching DM's episode was just too adorable. As for the Said Idiot agent next to me, I heard him sigh happily and he suddenly raised our handcuffed wrists up.

Before I could ask the sappy smiling mouse what he was doing, he just gave one command: "Activate ipatch laser."

A red beam of light shot out of his eyepatch and hit the chain to our cuffs. It snapped easily from the laser beam, freeing us from the metal around our wrists too. Sorry if I waited too long to thank him; Danger Mouse had then wrapped his now free right arm around my shoulder and scooted closer to my left side.

I shouldn't have laughed. Unfortunately, watching Undercover Telly DM blow up the science lab by mixing the wrong chemical beakers brought out another cute giggle from me. Getting berated by Professor Hugzhold, smashing a football through the school window...and him basically just being as stupid and reckless as a teenaged boy.

The scenario of the two of us as teenagers: going to high school; DM acting wild and stupid, yet getting me to laugh at his antics and mishaps... the thought of such a life getting us to become a couple seduced me enough to unconsciously lean my head against his right shoulder.


End file.
